Tuesday, March 9, 2010

2010 Oscar Liveblog

This is an archive of the liveblog comments I made during the March 7, 2010 Oscar ceremony via Twitter, along with a timeline of the televised ceremony. The times listed are Pacific Standard.

4:00 - Local red carpet coverage begins; I do housework because I don't care about dresses.

- Because it would air ridiculously early, those of us in Pacific time don't have to sit through the Barbara Walters pre-Oscar interview special... which is great news! Just one of the many benefits of living in L.A. But hey, next year, nobody has to watch the Barbara Walters pre-Oscar special.

4:31 - Begin receiving Twitter dispatches from my man on the inside, screenwriter John August... though he doesn't know he's my man on the inside, nor is he exclusively contracted to me. Neil Gaiman is also there. I decide to include retweets from them as part of my Twitter barrage.


4:47 - I finally sit down and start watching pre-show. The red carpet interviewers do their usual excellent job at journalism, asking actors when they'll make sequels to movies in which their characters died.

- And I still don't care about dresses.

5:01 - ABC's official pre-show red carpet special begins. The quality of the interviewing does not improve. Sherri Shepherd, huh?

5:09 - Samsung's commercial for their 3-D TV has already aired seven times since I started watching. This is going to get really old.


5:21 - Tina Fey and Steve Carell actually manage to be interesting despite the horrible red carpet interviewers.

- I hate listening to people complain about the Oscars being a pompous, worthless, self-serving ego-trip for rich people. Get over it; it's just a party. That being said, the pre-show red carpet crap is a pompous, worthless, self-serving ego-trip for rich people.

5:30 - Finally, the show begins. The actor nominees are already standing on stage. Then they leave. Kinda awkward.

  • The nominated actors are already on stage. This show could wrap up really quick tonight

  • - Neil Patrick Harris does an introductory song to kick things off.

  • Some day, Neil Patrick Harris will host every awards show


  • 5:34 - Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin take to the stage. The jokes begin. Steve Martin says, "There's that damn Helen Mirren." Alec Baldwin corrects him, "That's Dame Helen Mirren."

  • Dame Helen Mirren. Best joke so far

  • 5:44 - Opening monologue finishes. Lots of good laughs. Penelope Cruz now handing out Best Supporting Actor.

  • Looks like Woody Harrelson kills Ben Foster by the end of -The Messenger-
  • First guaranteed win of the night happens - Christoph Waltz wins Best Supportig Actor

  • 5:50 - They're doing that thing where they highlight each Best Picture nominee one at a time throughout the night. First up is The Hurt Locker.

    5:58 - Steve Carell and Cameron Diaz hand out Best Animated Feature. (Why were they chosen for this?) Up wins. Whatever.

  • Seriously though, folks... -Up- is not that good

  • 6:01 - Amanda Seyfried and Miley Cyrus, for some reason, have been enlisted to hand out Best Original Song.

  • Amanda Seyfried reminds people they're missing the season finale of -Big Love-

  • 6:04 - T-Bone Burnett wins.

    6:05 - Chris Pine introduces Best Picture nominee District 9.

  • Wow, a commercial for SPAM. That's ballsy

  • 6:12 - Robery Downey, Jr. and Tina Fey humorously present Best Original Screenplay with banter about writing versus acting. The Hurt Locker wins.

    6:17 - Molly Ringwald and Matthew Broderick introduce a John Hughes tribute montage.

  • Molly Ringwald looks terrified

  • 6:22 - After the montage, the stage fills with actors from Hughes movies.

  • Nice tribute to John Hughes. Guess the rest of the In Memoriam crowd can just suck it


  • 6:24 - Samuel L. Jackson introduces Best Picture nominee Up. How are they deciding who does these introductions? I mean, Jackson was in The Incredibles, but that's a thin connection.

    6:28 - Zoe Saldana and Carey Mulligan hand out all the short film awards. Logorama wins Best Animated Short.

  • Wow - what was possibly my least favorite short nominee won. No -Wallace and Gromit-?
  • -Logorama-'s win represents my first wrong prediction of the night. Crap in a hat!

  • - Music by Prudence wins Best Documentary Short. There's some weirdness between the two people accepting this award. I'll get into this in my next article.

  • RT @johnaugust Yeah, that Prudence thing was super awkward in person, too. #oscars

  • - The New Tenants wins Best Live Action Short.

  • -The New Tenants- win is technically my second incorrect guess, but I didn't actually see the Live Action Short nominees, so... absolved

  • 6:38 - Ben Stiller hams it up as a Na'vi for the Best Makeup category. Star Trek wins.

  • Ehh... not really into Ben Stiller's -Avatar- schtick

  • 6:43 - Jeff Bridges introduces Best Picture nominee A Serious Man. Finally an introducer who makes sense... The Dude!

  • Is there only one Coen brother at the ceremony? They only cut to one of them

  • 6:48 - Jake Gyllenhaal and Jennifer Garner hand out Best Adapted Screenplay. Precious wins.

    6:51 - Queen Latifah introduces the Governor's Award recipients. Lauren Bacall and Roger Corman get a standing ovation.

  • If the quality of my tweets deteriorates, it's because I've begun drinking

  • 6:54 - Robin Williams presents the Best Supporting Actress award. Mo'Nique wins.

  • The next guaranteed win of the night happens - Mo'Nique wins. Biggest applause of the night so far


  • 7:00 - Colin Firth introduces Best Picture nominee An Education.

    7:05 - Sigourney Weaver hands out the Best Art Direction award. Avatar wins. James Cameron gives a standing ovation to his crew.

  • RT @johnaugust Seat fillers are a surprisingly diverse range of types: not just actor/models. They spin their badges back when they sit down

  • 7:09 - Sarah Jessica Parker and another person (missed the introduction, and couldn't identify) hand out the Best Costume Designer award. The Young Victoria wins.

  • Are the costume designers obligated to wear themselves?

  • 7:12 - Charlize Theron introduces Best Picture nominee Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire; Published by Random House; Printed on 70% Recycled Paper.

    7:17 - Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin acknowledge the conductor and musical director of tonight's ceremony. Run a parody of Paranormal Activity - pretty funny.


    7:18 - Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner introduce a horror montage.

  • -Marathon Man- is not a horror movie. Way to try to sneak that past us, Academy


  • 7:23 - Zac Efron and Anna Kendrick introduce a clip of Morgan Freeman describing the processes of sound editing and sound mixing. Best Sound Editing and Best Sound Mixing both go to The Hurt Locker.

    7:28 - Elizabeth Banks introduces a clip for the Sci-Tech Awards, better known as the "nerd Oscars."


    7:29 - John Travolta introduces Best Picture nominee Inglourious Basterds.

  • RT @johnaugust Clearing the aisles. That means dancing. #oscars

  • 7:35 - Sandra Bullock hands out the Best Cinematography award. Avatar wins.

    7:37 - Demi Moore introduces the In Memoriam montage. James Taylor sings "In My Life" live during the reel.

  • How long has it been since Demi Moore was in a movie?
  • Not counting cameos

  • 7:45 - Jennifer Lopez and Sam Worthington introduce interpretive dancing set to this year's Best Original Score nominees. Up wins. Composer Michael Giacchino wins the unofficial Inspiring Speech of the Night award, telling creative kids not to fall victim to those who consider them weird. Follow those dreams!

  • Didn't we learn many a-year ago that interpretive dancing is the most laughable part of any Oscar ceremony?
  • -Up- is one of the few Pixar movies that's not about toys/machines, yet the dancers do the wind-up toy routine for that song?

  • 7:53 - Gerard Butler and Bradley Cooper present the Best Visual Effects Oscar. Avatar wins.

  • Anyone surprised?

  • 7:56 - Jason Bateman introduces Best Picture nominee Up in the Air.

    8:00 - Matt Damon hands out the Best Documentary prize. The Cove wins. Few people -- including me -- realized that Fischer Stevens was a producer on that movie. This rocks the internet for a good fifteen minutes.

  • I've seen Fischer Stevens in person. That makes his Oscar partly mine.

  • 8:05 - Tyler Perry hands out the Best Film Editing award. The Hurt Locker wins.

  • Watching the Oscars in surround sound makes you feel like you're in the middle of the audience. A very quiet audience

  • 8:09 - Keanu Reeves introduces Best Picture nominee The Blind Side.

    8:15 - Pedro Almodovar and Quentin Tarantino hand out Best Foreign Language Film. The Secret in Their Eyes wins.

  • Could've sworn this was a lock for -The White Ribbon-
  • That guy just made a hilarious joke about Na'vi being considered a foreign language and nobody laughed. It was actually a good joke

  • 8:19 - Kathy Bates introduces Best Picture nominee Avatar.

    8:25 - A bunch of actors get on stage to love-bomb this year's actor nominees... and then they don't hand out an award. Turns out they only talked about half of the nominees. The rest will come later.

  • RT @neilhimself They play soft rock during Oscar commercials. Roxanne does not have to put on the red light tonight, good news for all of us

  • 8:32 - Kate Winslet hands out Best Actor. Jeff Bridges wins.

  • My favorite sure thing of the night just happened

  • 8:41 - The remaining actor nominees get love-bombed.

  • Whoa, Forrest Whittaker is super skinny!
  • Just realized that if I were in the time zone of my birth, it would be going on midnight. How did I watch the Oscars when I was a kid?

  • 8:47 - Sean Penn hands out Best Actress. Sandra Bullock wins.

    8:52 - Barbra Streisand hands out Best Director.

  • This year's Best Director category is like the 2008 election - a white woman or a black guy will win

  • - Kathryn Bigelow wins.

  • Kathryn Bigelow is Queen of the World!!!


  • 8:58 - Tom Hanks takes the stage to hand out Best Picture. He wastes no time with pleasantries. The Hurt Locker wins.

  • -Hurt Locker- wins. Called it!

  • 9:00 - And now, the Barbara Walters special... which I committed to skipping.

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